I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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