Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
