i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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