Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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