He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
