anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
