It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
