We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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