He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's get the cat blown out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
