About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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