the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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