Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
