i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
only if we run a train.
done.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize