just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is the high leading the old right now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
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Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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