i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
