I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
