i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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