home. puking in laundry basket.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
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vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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