she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
