Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Sext me about skeletons
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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