I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize