SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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