I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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