So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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