i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
