he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
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He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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