I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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