she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
