HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
