Moan for me like Helen Keller
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
