I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
