My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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