Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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