ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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