Cold hands, warm shart.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
