A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize