just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
