It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
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I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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