I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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