i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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