do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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