A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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