He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
