it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
