That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
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