He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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