Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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