I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
