so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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