You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
