talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I love having hate sex.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
