I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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