please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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