I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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