Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Drake has all the answers
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
