none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
