if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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