if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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