I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
