it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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