wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
