this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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