so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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