Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
